Eric Kipnis

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The Beginning

In the beginning, there was dark. Then, there was Eric Kipnis. Eric arrived at RIT on the back of a manatee on August 2012 after a mysterious 18 years somewhere else. Due to the summer heat, the manatee quickly succumbed to the hostile environment, but Eric lived on. After a graceful dismount, he entered Nathaniel Rochester Hall, Floor 5, hereby referred to as "The Palace." His floormates have described Eric as "legendary." He soon took RIT by storm, winning every possible award offered to Freshmen. He was a student of excellence, a master of cooking Mac and Cheese, and destroyer of evil. He once rescued RIT President, Bill Destler from a banjo thief, carrying the President five miles in the snow, uphill both ways. Eric is perhaps the only member of the RIT community to both know the location of Destler's weather machine, and hold a key to its operation. He has never abused this privilege.

Entering the Brotherhood

During the Fall Rush of Phi Sigma Pi Delta Alpha Chapter, a level of greatness befell over the Fraternity. On the second day of information sessions, Eric graced the Chapter with an appearance. Gasps filled the room as he sat listening, intrigued by the Brotherhood. Rush Chair, Susan Kratzer, understood the challenge before her. She must sell the Fraternity to Eric. Rumors soon began circulating. President Kris Yee was heard saying "this man will do great things." As rush progressed, Eric continued to attend events, stunning the Chapter with his agility, intellect, good manners, and friendship. To everyone's expectation, Eric was offered a bid and began the initiation process.

The initiation process allowed Eric to display his talents. He obliterated homework assignments, took charge of event planning, commanded with the sternness and gentleness of a proven leader, and not only met all the "Qualities of a Brother," but also invented six additional characteristics of his own. Brothers were astonished, documents needed to be rewritten, and National was contacted. A team of experts were flown in overnight from the Lancaster, PA headquarters. Upon arrival, they were just as amazed as the Brothers. "He has every quality to be a Brother," a source from Nationals said. He is not named because he was not authorized to comment publicly on the matter.

After an impressive initiation, during which Eric attended more events than existed and obtained so much credit that scientific notation needed to be used on the credit attendance sheet, he was voted in. He received 136% of the "Yes" vote, across all demographics of Brothers.

The Big

Eric owes a small portion of his success to his Big, Paul Saidi. While Eric was already a man of great ability, Paul taught him the ways of the Chapter.

Road to Presidency

After being inducted into the Chapter as a Brother, Eric quickly began his race to the Presidency. As of November, 2013, Eric has formed a task force, and began the process of removing existing President, Kris Yee, in attempt to stage a coup d'état.

Failed Coup Attempt

Eric's brief attempt at a Coup failed, twelve minutes in, in part due to his posting his intentions online. And being in the Lerner Family didn't help. The Goodman Family Line soon regained their rightful role of Chapter President.

Eric Returns

Eric's camp huddled around the Fraternity organization and member chart, attempting to recover and develop a new strategy. They decided that a peaceful revolt was possible, given the Goodman's dwindling roster. All they had to do was motion [redacted by Lerner Line] at the next meeting. According to Chapter Bylaws, Section [redacted], this would allow Eric to assume all duties of not only President, but also Vice President, Parliamentarian, and, for some reason, Social Chair with a 2/3 vote majority. After forming an alliance with the [redacted] Line, as well as the [redacted] Line, Eric had the significant majority to continue his plans.

Becoming the Karate Kid (and Social Chair)

After a grueling competition running against the Cobra Kai Dojo for the position of Social chair, Eric received 110% of the chapter's votes and became apart of E-council for the Spring of 2014. He intends to plan the most awesome banquet in all of existence and in turn earn the right to take Ralph Macchio's place as the next "Karate Kid."

Famous Quotes

"After I become Social Chair, I will install a puppy army... people love puppies."

  • Note: some events have been dramatized.